1. Who We Are

Quitter’s Gym (“we,” “us,” “our,” or “the organization that celebrates your inactivity”) operates the website quittersgym.info and the Quitter’s Gym mobile application (collectively, the “Services”). We are a satirical fitness brand. Our tagline is “Lower Your Fitness Expectations™” and we mean it — including about this privacy policy being entertaining.

For privacy-related inquiries, contact us at: privacy@quittersgym.info

2. Information We Collect

2.1 Information You Provide Directly

• Email address — when you sign up for our waitlist or take the Quitter’s Oath
• Name — when you sign the Quitter’s Oath (we use this to generate your certificate)
• App usage data — excuses generated, naps logged, workouts skipped (for the leaderboard)

2.2 Information Collected Automatically

• Device information — device type, operating system, browser type
• Usage data — pages visited, features used, time spent (probably on the couch)
• IP address — for security and analytics purposes
• Cookies — small text files stored on your device (see Section 6)

2.3 Information We Do NOT Collect

• Your actual fitness data (we assume there isn’t any)
• Your gym attendance records (we already know)
• Your credit card number for the gym you never visit
• Biometric data, health records, or medical information

3. How We Use Your Information

We use the information we collect to:

• Send you the iOS app launch notification you requested (when you joined the waitlist)
• Generate your personalized Quitter’s Certificate
• Display anonymous statistics on our global quitter counter
• Improve our Services (making it easier to not exercise)
• Respond to your inquiries and support requests
• Comply with legal obligations
• Prevent fraud and ensure security

We do not use your information to:

• Shame you into actually going to the gym (that’s what your real gym membership is for)
• Sell your data to third parties for advertising
• Send you unsolicited fitness tips

4. How We Share Your Information

We do not sell, rent, or trade your personal information. We may share information in these limited circumstances:

• Service Providers — We use trusted third-party services (hosting, email delivery, analytics) who are contractually obligated to protect your data
• Legal Requirements — If required by law, court order, or government authority
• Business Transfers — If Quitter’s Gym is acquired or merges with another company (we’ll let you know, probably via a very funny email)
• With Your Consent — For any other purpose with your explicit permission

5. Data Retention

We retain your personal information for as long as necessary to provide our Services and comply with legal obligations. Specifically:

• Email addresses — retained until you unsubscribe or request deletion
• App usage data — retained for 24 months or until account deletion
• Quitter’s Oath records — retained indefinitely in our Hall of Shame (anonymized)

To request deletion of your data, email us at privacy@quittersgym.info with the subject line “Delete My Data (I’m finally going to the gym)”.

6. Cookies

We use cookies and similar tracking technologies to improve your experience. Types of cookies we use:

• Essential cookies — Required for the website to function (we can’t disable these, unlike your gym membership)
• Analytics cookies — Help us understand how people use our site (Google Analytics)
• Preference cookies — Remember your settings and preferences

You can control cookies through your browser settings. Disabling cookies may affect some features of our Services, but probably won’t affect your fitness routine since nothing does.

7. Your Rights

Depending on your location, you may have the following rights regarding your personal data:

• Access — Request a copy of the personal data we hold about you
• Correction — Request correction of inaccurate data
• Deletion — Request deletion of your personal data (“right to be forgotten”)
• Portability — Request your data in a machine-readable format
• Objection — Object to certain processing of your data
• Opt-out — Unsubscribe from marketing communications at any time

To exercise any of these rights, contact us at privacy@quittersgym.info. We will respond within 30 days (unlike your gym, which responds immediately with a guilt-inducing email).

8. Children’s Privacy

Our Services are not directed to children under 13 years of age. We do not knowingly collect personal information from children under 13. If you believe we have inadvertently collected information from a child, please contact us immediately at privacy@quittersgym.info.

Children under 13 are also not allowed to skip the gym — they have gym class for that.

9. Third-Party Links

Our Services may contain links to third-party websites (like the App Store, social media platforms, or that gym equipment you’ll never buy). We are not responsible for the privacy practices of these third parties. We encourage you to review their privacy policies before providing any personal information — or before clicking anything, really.

10. Security

We implement reasonable technical and organizational measures to protect your personal information against unauthorized access, alteration, disclosure, or destruction. These measures include:

• SSL/TLS encryption for data transmission
• Secure server infrastructure
• Access controls and authentication
• Regular security reviews

However, no method of transmission over the internet is 100% secure. We cannot guarantee absolute security, much like we cannot guarantee you’ll ever use that gym bag in your car.

11. California Privacy Rights (CCPA)

If you are a California resident, you have additional rights under the California Consumer Privacy Act (CCPA):

• Right to know what personal information we collect, use, disclose, and sell
• Right to delete personal information we have collected from you
• Right to opt-out of the sale of personal information (we don’t sell it, but you have the right)
• Right to non-discrimination for exercising your CCPA rights

To submit a CCPA request, email privacy@quittersgym.info.

12. Changes to This Policy

We may update this Privacy Policy from time to time. When we do, we will update the “Last Updated” date at the top of this page. We encourage you to review this policy periodically — it’s shorter than most gym contracts and has fewer hidden fees.

Continued use of our Services after any changes constitutes your acceptance of the updated policy.

13. Contact Us

If you have questions, concerns, or complaints about this Privacy Policy or our data practices, please contact us:

We will respond to all legitimate inquiries within 30 days. Illegitimate inquiries will be used as inspiration for future excuse generators.